the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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