You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
