It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
