What a fucking waste of an outfit
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
