Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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