I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
