I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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