I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Drake has all the answers
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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