Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
