Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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