Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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