is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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