Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
