I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
