I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
