Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
