I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
