alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
