Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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