Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
