I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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