I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
