"it" just moved
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
