We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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