it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
