It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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