um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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