Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
