Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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