Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
