Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
