She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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