tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
