and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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