He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
