she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
