I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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