Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize