guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
