12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize