He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
