No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
