Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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