I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
