sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
