he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize