My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
