Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
