I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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