I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
