I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
