You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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