i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
