Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
