update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
