grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish you could order shots online.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
