dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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