Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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