No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
