I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
