i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Enjoy the penises
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
