i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think your dad took our porno
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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