did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
