ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
